Over the past few months, many EOORC communities of faith have received a visit from a “Mystery Guest.” The Mystery Guest appears as a visitor in your community of faith. This special visitor can give you feedback about his/her/their experience at your community of faith. Did anyone say hello to the visitor? Could the visitor find your service time? The Mystery Guest will report back about these and more questions, helping you to customise your welcome to future visitors.
I sat down with one of EOORC’s Mystery Guest to learn more. The following is the personal experience of one of our Mystery Guests.
What prompted you to become a Mystery Guest?
I wanted to encourage communities of faith in their welcoming of visitors (both affirming what they are already doing well, and suggesting ways they could improve their welcome). I love that the Mystery Guest is a surprise; it is not like when your mother-in-law is visiting from out of town and you have cleared off all the cobwebs. It’s just an ordinary Sunday, and just being someone who attends worship as a stranger to that community.
As a clergy person, it was also an important refreshing experience for me personally to remember what it is like to visit somewhere new. It gave me new ideas for my own ministry.
When you visit a new church for the first time, what does that feel like?
It is a bit unsettling. There is so much you don’t know – little things but they are important. I visited five churches this summer, and in four cases it was difficult for me to determine which door I should use to enter the building. It is awkward to wander around the building, trying different locked doors.
It is hard entering a new community of faith as a visitor. I am very social and a “church person.” Imagine what it must be like if it is your first Sunday ever attending a church…or your first Sunday in a very long time!
Were most of the churches you visited accessible?
Some of the buildings had ramps and accessible washrooms. A number had removed part of one pew for people with a wheelchair. I think it would be great if we had more flexible seating options like this; they are great not only for people who use wheelchairs, but also for people with walkers, canes, crutches, strollers etc. It is nice to have more than one option of where to sit (for example, at the front or back of the church) for people who find pews difficult or impossible to navigate.
All of the churches I visited had adequate sound systems. I think that, over the years, sound systems have gotten increased attention and have gotten much better in most churches. None of the churches had hearing devices, which could be a growth area.
What is one thing that the churches did really well?
Most of the churches had a strong and warm welcome during worship. All of the churches I visited had greeters who helped me to feel welcome as I entered the sanctuary. In most cases, there was a form of generalized welcome during the service. The worship leader would say something like “If you are visiting us today, we are so glad you are here. You are warmly welcome to join us for coffee after the service.” That was great.
What was the most common mistake you saw churches making?
Although most churches started with a warm welcome during the service, they did not carry this welcome through to coffee time. After church, no one came to talk with me or ask if they could walk over to coffee time with me. It takes a lot of courage for me as a visitor to walk to the church hall on my own. When I would get to the coffee time location, 4/5 times no one came over to talk with me. I’m very comfortable in a church building and a pretty chatty person, but it is awkward to be on your own while everyone else is chatting. Each time, I drank my tea quickly and then left.
Why is coffee time important, and how can communities of faith welcome visitors during coffee time?
People want to make real connections, and coffee hour is a great time to do this. If a visitor has been connected, introduced, and chatted with others over coffee…if they have been engaged…there is a good chance that they will come back for a second visit. If the congregation is a healthy one, the person might even come back again and again.
Of course, it is nice to see our friends at coffee hour. But it is important to be present to newer people. Why not say to our friends: “Let’s grab a coffee at Tim Hortons after church”? That way, we could spend coffee hour getting to know new people. Each congregation should have a few people who have the role of welcoming new people. (Of course, we can and should all welcome visitors, but it is good to have a few people who are carrying this as a special mission.) Don’t give these welcome-folks a badge; no visitor wants to think you are only talking to them because it is your job. I would also suggest avoiding badges (or specially coloured coffee cups) for visitors; it makes them feel conspicuous.
I think that ministers have a key role in this kind of welcome. As a minister, it is easy for me to go up to someone I don’t recognize and say “I don’t know if I have had a chance to greet you before.” If the person is new, I can try to connect them with someone who has something in common. People who are new usually tell you why they are there. The minister can play an important role here, but congregations can’t rely on the minister to do all of this connecting – especially as 4/5 of the churches I visited this summer did not have a called or appointed minister.
What are some simple things that Communities of Faith can do to welcome and engage with visitors?
First: Providing the option of electronic giving other than PAR. (PAR is great, but no visitors are going to sign up for PAR on their first Sunday.) I never carry cash anymore. Every church I visited had an offering, and I would have liked to contribute. None of the churches I visited mentioned a way to give electronically on a Sunday morning.
Secondly: People like to help and to be involved. Let’s say I am at a friend’s house for dinner, and I ask “What can I do to help?” and my friend says “Could you grab some utensils from the drawer over there and help set the table?” I feel very much at home, because being able to help is a sign that I am not only a guest; I am a friend. It’s similar with church. We are sometimes afraid of inviting new people to be involved. Of course, you should not try to sign a brand-new visitor up for 20 committees! However, inviting a new person to be involved and help in small ways can help someone to feel that they are a valued and important part of the community.
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
As a Mystery Guest, my role was mostly focused on the practicalities of welcome. As a minister, the experience of visiting five churches also prompted me to reflect on why someone would visit a church in the first place. Going to church is no longer a social expectation or a “default.” When people visit a church for the first time (or the first time in a while), I think they are looking for something beyond what they can experience elsewhere.
In each of the churches I visited, the worship experience was pleasant. At the same time, sometimes it felt to me like the service lacked depth or a sense of connection to God. The experience encouraged me, as someone who leads worship on a regular basis, to place value on rooting the service in a real and deep connection with scripture. It encouraged me to think about quiet moments in the service – times when we can connect with creation, with spirituality and the otherness of life. In addition to connection with other people, I think that connecting with God is what people are looking for when they visit a church.
